Beginner Help

Today, i’m going to take a step back to the beginning for my newer readers and talk about something that helped me the first year or so in my submission. Many today, find their Dominants online, rather than in person. Mostly, because we are afraid of admitting to ourselves or to the people around us…

Master’s Input

Hello all, From time to time I’ll drop in and add my two cents. However, this blog is primarily maeve’s responsibility so I’ll be intermittent. A little introduction on my part is in order so here goes: I’ve been involved in the lifestyle for over a decade and have switched for almost as long. I…

Submission and What it Really Means

You ever hear someone talk about the BDSM lifestyle and you get this hinky feeling, like OMG are they FREAKY!! So let’s just back up for a minute and go over a few things. First: BDSM. What is it? The term has several definitions, depending on who you speak to depends on what it means….

Radio Silence and The Power of Communication

I find myself seeking solace in the company of my fellow subs. With Master out of reach, the opportunity to share and educate my fellow subs has presented itself without me seeking it. So with my heart and on the brink of losing control (and in some ways they already have). So now I must…

Radio Silence and Bad Dreams

It’s interesting the things your unconscious mind comes up with. Awake, I know that my Master loves me and will not abandon me. However, there must be a deep seated fear that we will not be the same when he gets home. The dream woke me up early and plagued me for the next hour…

Radio Silence and Happiness

If you may have noticed, I have entitled the posts that are written during Master’s absence and lack of communication with “Radio Silence.” This indicates that I have had no communication with Master. I hope to end the “Radio Silence” series until then I shall persevere. Lately, I have been giving a lot of thought…

Radio Silence and Survival Mode

I have come to the conclusion, that I must enter survival mode. This is not my favorite mode to live my life, but with Master gone and communication non-existent, it has become a necessity. Master will totally understand this need and not fault me for it. I haven’t gone this long without talking to him…

When You Can’t Cum, But Then You Do

There are people out there who, like me, are unable to cum no matter the stimulus. As a matter of fact, I didn’t even know what it felt like. I have to admit I was (and still am) envious of those who can. So imagine my surprise, when playing with a new toy, I thought…

Radio Silence and Losing Myself

It’s been ten days since I last spoke to Master. The silence is killing me, and what’s worse is that I feel like I’m losing myself. I feel like my submission is suffering. Part of my identity as a submissive is in my Master’s control of my life. With Him being gone, I am losing…

Radio Silence and Strange Dreams

With Master gone I had been expecting some radio silence. However, he usually tells me in advance. Not hearing from him since our last conversation a week ago has sent my mind reeling. This morning I awoke several times to a very strange dream. One in which Master leaves my behind. I know this would…

Autonomy

This subject is a strange topic for a submissive to talk about. However, with Master’s impending departure I am faced with being autonomous for 18 months or more. After nearly eight years of being Master’s slave and checking all decisions with Him, I am now forced to make all decisions on my own and advising…

Seeds of Joy in a Place of Darkness

Recently, Master called to tell me about a situation that has arisen. He had intended to leave me a voicemail, but I always wake up to his calls. Talking again, even though the absence was short, gave me such joy. Now we are back to communicating regularly. Master just needed time to think things through….

Fighting Depression

It’s been 24 hours since my world fell apart. I simply wanted to curl up and die last night and part of today. I had even considered going back on an antidepressant. Then I realized that that would undo everything Master and I have worked so hard for the last three years. I made a…

The Abyss

The Abyss is calling, and I am moving closer to the edge. Being without Master is breaking me apart. I feel like I have lost half of me. I can still feel Him, but the lack of communication is what kills me. I want to be strong for my Master, but at this point, I…